A little time for my brain
24.02.2011
After being in Prague for five days and having no phone, no computer, and no means of connection to the world, I came to the realization that everything I thought I knew meant nothing. Finally, after all these years it has taken one small trip to have no technological influence to understand what life really is. When I lived in Minneapolis, I believed, that I knew everything about what I knew. This may be true for a general amount of the rest of the world as well. So many people construct their brain to think of nothing but knowing what they “think” they know. Why the hell are we here if we need to know everything? What are we doing if everything we know means nothing? We are here to learn. Yes, but for what? What we learn makes us wise; it makes us smart; it, even in some cases, may make us cool. To some people, knowing what you do may mean nothing. To the ones that are influenced by thoughts and others words, it means a lot. And now, to me, it becomes nothing but a breath left in the dust. Being here and being surrounded by people who don’t care about what they are doing or where they came from feels so releasing. It is so incredible to be surrounded by people who care about nothing but being where they are, when they are, and doing nothing but being who they are. It feels so beautiful. It feels so enlightening. Knowing what you think you know means a whole lot of nothing because everyone you meet has something new to say. You learn more by listening to what people think than trying to understand what you, yourself, think you know. I have learned that the only thing that I really want to do is hear their stories. I want to share my story and maybe learn a little from each and every one of them.
I came to Europe with this single intent in mind. Learning more than I thought I already did. I came here being cocky in a way that even I, did not understand. I have always thought of myself as generally, a caring, sympathetic, and “in the moment” kind of person. But, now that I am here, I have discovered that what I thought I knew about the world, I really have no fucking idea. It seems so much more complicated in my little brain but now that I put it down into words it seems so simple. Dogen (a crazy guy who speaks of zazen from like the first early centuries of this planet) explains that by “dropping off body and mind” one can feel true zazen (an interesting and pure form of meditation). And now it all makes sense. If you lose your body along with your mind, maybe you will experience some intricate and truly exasperating form of enlightenment; but then again, maybe not. Who really knows? Right?
So I guess the whole meaning of this entry, really means nothing. It is meant for nothing but releasing my own cluttered brain. What I think I know, now really makes me wonder if I do know anything about what I don’t know. Maybe that will twist your brain. Think about it.
